The Brentford Chain-Store Massacre

There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr Stephen Malone. Using DNA strands extracted from the dried blood on the Turin Shroud, Dr Malone is cloning Jesus. And not just a single Jesus, he''s going for a full half-dozen so that each of the world''s major religions can have one. It''s a really bad idea.

In Brentford they''ve had a really good idea. They''re holding the Millennial Celebrations two years early to avoid the rush. It''s a tradition, or an old charter, or something. And it promises to be the party of this, or any other, century. Unless, of course, something REALLY BAD was to happen...

Described as a ''stark raving genius'' (Observer), Robert Rankin has once again surpassed himself in his latest creation.