The Elephant in the Room: Engaging with the Unsaid in Groups and Organizations

A group is working on a business challenge. The group members are under pressure. They have a lot to accomplish and a limited amount of time. After first attempting to develop an overview of their common task, they try to make a plan to ensure an efficient group process. The planning is proving difficult. We’ve all been there. We are in a working group or at a meeting, discussing a topic or a challenge, and all the while, as a separate track running underneath our conversation, there is a subtext that no one explicitly addresses. This is an example of ‘the elephant in the room.’ Most of us notice the elephant, it gets in the way, and it’s difficult to deal with until someone points at it and says, ‘There it is, let’s take a look at it and reduce its impact.’

With an engaging use of examples and questions, the book addresses how we can best deal with the elephant and thus promote job satisfaction, creativity, and productivity. In the context of action, what we notice often recedes into the background and gradually slips out of focus until we eventually reconnect with our need to reflect and recreate a space for it. This book addresses the challenge of focusing on, holding on to, and acting on what we notice ‘in the middle of it all.’ Maintaining a simultaneous focus on task and process – what we do and what we notice – is what I define as ‘double awareness.’ Double awareness is not only a core capacity but also a core challenge.

The aim of the book is to promote understanding and awareness of this core challenge and to inspire both reflection and action in anyone wishing to improve their capacity for double awareness. How can we define and understand the practice of mindful avoidance? And can we, as members of groups and organizations, begin to practice mindful action by engaging in and acting on what we notice, in real time?